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Lack of Lightness

by Papaver Cousins

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02:13
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03:28
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02:59
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02:35
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03:59

credits

released April 7, 2017

music and words by Papaver Cousins

guest musicians
Andras Halmos - drums (track 2, 5, 9)
Andras Kalman - organ (track 1)
Andras Upor - slide guitar (track 10)
Daniel Misota - vocals (track 9)

produced by Papaver Cousins, Daniel Misota

sound engineering
Andras Upor, Daniel Misota, Andras Koroknay, Andras Kalman
mixing
Andras Koroknay, Andras Kalman
mastering
Andras Koroknay

photography, layout & design
Daniel Misota
photo on inside cover and disc
Tamas Konok Sr. (Fortepan)

Special thanks to Peter Podlovics, Adam Vadasz, Gergo Nagy, Mushu Israel, Petneházy Flóra, Painters Palace

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license

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about

Papaver Cousins Budapest, Hungary

Papaver Cousins is a singer-songwriter duo of two brothers in arms, Oliver Szendrey-Nagy & Barnabas Nagy, exposing their desires, fears and perceptions in the manner of roots folk music.

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Track Name: Your Mistakes' Feast
I have greatly sinned
In my thoughts and in my words
In what I have done and in what I have failed to do

You are the kinda sinner
Who turns his back away
But after it’s done
To whom do you pray?
I think you’re getting lonely
And I can’t see your face
It must be ‘cause
You are your own disgrace
I’m sure you didn’t mean it
But something must have seized
You’d better fix it so you can join
Our mistakes feast

I don’t have to be asked
To practice forgiveness
We don’t have the same methods
But it’s none of my business
My salvation is granted
According to your laws
But for kids mercy is not enough
They want somewhat Santa Claus
And I know you won’t be here
Watch from the clouds at least
How we celebrate together
Our mistakes feast

My sin isn’t better than yours
Or yours than mine
It’s easy to understand
Just follow this line
You sacrificed your son
To ease your betrayed self
You said all is forgiven
Just ask your dove and whelp
Without confession but with
Forgiveness by your priests
Will you join us and see
Your mistakes feast
Track Name: No God Can Cage My Love
A thin man can be heavy
With his bones like arrows
A prayer, a gospel
Tears are silent like a ghost

I’m needy so feed me
I’ll help you eat your part
We’re gonna explode now
Like sorrow out of a child

Not a father nor a mother
Borders or beliefs
Gadgets and schedules
The biggest killer pills

I’ll take up the glove
And will say it to your face
That no god can cage my love

I see through your pillars
From the side of the bed
Aqua Benedicta
Oiled my head

Not a father nor a mother
Borders or beliefs
Gadgets and schedules
The biggest killer pills

I’ll take up the glove
And will say it to your face
That no god can cage my love
Track Name: We Could
Don’t tell me to write you
Love songs and then I will
Others are talking about fire
I like it better when it’s still

So you could do that to me
Failed chances made me swollen
You won’t chip my heart
But you could get it broken

So we could do that to us
Cause patience made us woven
We could take these hearts
And get them both broken

I had picked you flowers
And you didn’t play safe
And then we just watched
Our love’s silent pace

So you could do that to me
Failed chances made me swollen
You won’t chip my heart
But you could get it broken

So we could do that to us
Cause patience made us woven
We could take these hearts
So let’s not get them broken
Track Name: Something Has to Fall
The old lady from the third block
Has to push her own wheelchair
And the guy that collects stubs
Is lighting a Marlboro filter
The new ones in the higher class
All try to look away
When someone asks them for an apple
Or a stranger just wants to stay
It’s natural, they’ve learned the lesson
From the best masters in town
They’ve been impaled by some pictures
Of the hunchback of Notre Dame

I’m standin’ with saltines in hand
And don’t like them at all
Swallowing a piece of crackers
This race will surely fall

The waxed haired jerk from high school
Has to think how he will explain
That the hits in the gym made him forget
That girls like to be called by their names
And the one who just lost her grit
Will put on another disguise
Fairly made-up for a battle she’d win
She’ll have her tears out of sight
When the next wham is given
She’s crying as she takes the blame
Pulls out a number from her back pocket
That voice will say never feel any shame

I’m standin’ with my hands just hangin’
And I’d rather stare at a wall
Shakin for a hint of a cigarette
This race will surely fall

The guard in the new pub
Is a threat so you don’t feel safe
As you’re drinking your beer of freedom
He puts a scare on your face
And I see your old friends’ reunion
Is going well for sure
Well everyone knows it’s no secret
Just keep on pushing your phone
Caught the tram slightly drunk
All the guys are searching for a club
Everyone shouts: Carpe diem!
A man nearby is getting robbed

I was about to watch from above
But it seems I’m not that tall
And until that changes
It’s me who has to fall
Track Name: Lack of Lightness
Well all the things I have
Just make me bow my back
And all the things I seek
Are getting over my head

I don't talk to my friends
There's something with my tongue
And I’m getting sick of
The fear of saying something wrong

Yes I know you're well-read
and you live by your wits
but It’s sad you think it’s enough
To pick me a word as a gift

A question that wants to measure love
Is proven to kill even without answer
Can we really blame anyone
At the moment I’m losing my temper?

It was a blessing but now it’s a mess
Nothing but crucial
It’s the lack of lightness

Beyond all these things
That make me bow my back
It's you rather than lightness
I don't want to lack
Track Name: Won't You Bring Your Boy Back Home Tonight
I’m above the limits
Of each and every world
But all these lines
Seem to be so blurred
I know that I should stand straight
And that I’ll have to fight
Dad, won’t you bring your boy back home tonight?

Even a little man
Can be great in a little one’s eyes
This must be the place
Where there’s no need for disguise
Can I still ask you
When there’s no one else on sight
Dad, won’t you bring your boy back home tonight?

I see the difference
Between good and bad
Well you know father
Words of truth were said
You’re dealing with the weight
Of being my first and only knight
Dad, won’t you bring your boy back home tonight?

Some of my dreams
You love them as if they were yours
You wouldn’t be mistaken
If you’d bet on their source
Will you lend your hand
When I’m afraid of heights?
Dad, won’t you bring your boy back home tonight?

A day will come when
I’ll guard a little one’s night
I’ll be the king with my queen
And our prince on our side
And then I will ask you
If you wanted the last bite
Dad, won’t you bring your boy back home tonight?
Track Name: Ground Floor Two
Going left, heading right
If you’re not really in you are better out
I’m all the same
Just like the things I see
Someone’s struggling for fame
Others just with their fee
I collect beauty as you know
I live in that small room at
Ground floor Two

There is light when I set it on
And one thing I’ll tell you, Son
Darkness goes nowhere
When it’s lit by a screen
And there’s no one talkin’ out there
I’m getting bored of the scene
So I think I’ll stay inside
To see what I’ve gathered at
Ground floor Two

The ones you refer to as fathers
Yesterday they were just sinners
Well I miss my steps
And there’s the loneliness
Just moving right after left
And I have no one to confess
All this grievin’ me so
I guess I should get out of
Ground floor Two

Surely God gave you the right
To put someone in and someone out of sight
And that’s just good
For all of us
Until we put food
On the table at sunday lunch
And on the other side there’s the same old tune they blow
They’ll wish you goodnight at
Ground floor Two

Did you really tell your children
If it’s God you love or is it believin’?
It must be tough to think about
The blame they did take
When alone and out
They didn’t act for your sake
And it struck me as I got through
The doorstep of
Ground floor Two

So I’m here and afraid
Of things you left to do or to say
It seems some might do
They could even get through
Without any kind of clue
But I don’t believe you
And it’s difficult though I’m leavin’
What’s in and around
Ground floor Two
Track Name: Don't Think That I Can't Shout
Don’t think that
Don’t think that I can’t shout
I’m not your little brother
So don’t tell me to go out

You heard me crying
And that makes you strong
You think you have power here
But I’m telling you you’re wrong

Oh don’t think that I can’t shout

The words you use
Tell me that you’re smart
But you’re not keen on proving
That you have a loving heart

You heard my silence
And now I’ll walk you out
But don’t ever think that
Don’t think that I can’t shout
Track Name: Four Walls
I’ll find myself someone to love
I’ll find myself someone to feed
I’ll find home to drop my blood
What else would I need?

I’ll come close to show my face
I’ll come close so you might listen
I’ll show you around your place
Look how your walls make a prison

Four walls one needs
Four walls are built on greed
Four walls make a prison
Four walls were given

Then find yourself someone to love
And find yourself someone to feed
And know me by a drop of blood
At your temple of greed

And you dont need my blessing
To say what you want to say
But your words will teach you a lesson
When you talk to walls someday

Four walls one needs
Four walls are built on greed
Four walls make a prison
Four walls were given
Four walls where I live in
Track Name: Oh Brother
Oh brother the thoughts you
Keep to yourself are all true
And somehow the best things
Are the ones you’re so afraid to do
Oh brother

Oh brother please take
A girl who laughs at your jokes
Who wants you to listen
And who wants you to talk
Oh brother

Love your mother and father
Like you always did
And when they ask you
Don’t forget that you’re their kid
Oh brother

Oh brother be nice
And it’s better to know
Frustration is not about others
But all about you
Oh brother

Oh brother take my hand
When you feel you have to
And be sure I’ll take yours
It’s the world against two
Oh brother
Track Name: Unborn Child
You’re the reason I smile
Even when I don’t mean it
In all my greetings
There you are

You’re the reason I care
Even when I’m not doing well
In all my sorrow
There you are

But when I get tired
Of being nice and kind
And when I get hopeless
It’s you changin’ my mind

You’re the reason I speak
Even when I’m weak
In all my statements
There you are

You’re the reason I learn
And teach them in return
In all my questions
There you are

But when I get tired
Of being nice and kind
And when I get hopeless
It’s you changin’ my mind
Oh my unborn child
Track Name: Unintended Epilogue
How cruel is that I see you
More often since you've gone?
The given things felt hard for you
Even being somebody's son
But I don't blame you
Or myself for that could have been done
All that really matters
Is we felt somehow as one

I always thought that you'd
Be someone causing himself hurt
To some it might looked pathetic
But I know you couldn't stand this world
When I heard the news from father
On how the things have turned
I knew a part of me
Goes with you down to the dirt

I've seen you in a picture
You stand beside your dog
You painted yourself happy
In your unintended epilogue

I couldn't ever picture you
In my head as an aging man
You always had the last word
But I bet this wasn't into the plan

On the way to your home
All I wanted was your smell
And I felt myself so ugly
Cause I questionned something that must be there
A thing that stands but
It's not something you spell
Somehow I figured
It's fine I know you care
Track Name: Draw My Line
Well you live where I do, you go places I go
And still that’s all you say
Those nice little words about summer curls
And the weightlessness of your day
I know those are nice but what is the price
Of closing eyes every time
Now look at me and see how I draw my line

I know it is hard to show me your cards
But isn’t it what you’re supposed to do?
Instead of telling’ lies of unreached heights
So I don’t know who I’m talking to
It’s not what you earned but what you learned
You still say six instead of nine
When you look at me and see where I draw my line

And I know sometimes there’s not just one way
That’s all one can guarantee
You say whatever but you’re not young forever
Like you say you sure will be
These days I’m sure they worth
More than a cheap rhyme
So look at me and see how I draw my line

Life is sure good but you’re not in the mood
To care about things that count
But you’ll see my friend when you’ve come to an end
Things are not really the way you sound
You can throw laughs at me if I seem to be
A man who’s not here to make you smile
But look at me and see how I draw my line

And I know sometimes there’s not just one way
That’s all one can guarantee
You say whatever but you’re not young forever
Like you say you sure will be
These days I’m sure they worth
More than a cheap rhyme
So now you’ve seen how I draw my line