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Lack of Lightness

by Papaver Cousins

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Comes in a lovely digipak with a beautifully printed booklet, high quality audio and the feeling of holding it in your hands.

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1.
I have greatly sinned In my thoughts and in my words In what I have done and in what I have failed to do You are the kinda sinner Who turns his back away But after it’s done To whom do you pray? I think you’re getting lonely And I can’t see your face It must be ‘cause You are your own disgrace I’m sure you didn’t mean it But something must have seized You’d better fix it so you can join Our mistakes feast I don’t have to be asked To practice forgiveness We don’t have the same methods But it’s none of my business My salvation is granted According to your laws But for kids mercy is not enough They want somewhat Santa Claus And I know you won’t be here Watch from the clouds at least How we celebrate together Our mistakes feast My sin isn’t better than yours Or yours than mine It’s easy to understand Just follow this line You sacrificed your son To ease your betrayed self You said all is forgiven Just ask your dove and whelp Without confession but with Forgiveness by your priests Will you join us and see Your mistakes feast
2.
A thin man can be heavy With his bones like arrows A prayer, a gospel Tears are silent like a ghost I’m needy so feed me I’ll help you eat your part We’re gonna explode now Like sorrow out of a child Not a father nor a mother Borders or beliefs Gadgets and schedules The biggest killer pills I’ll take up the glove And will say it to your face That no god can cage my love I see through your pillars From the side of the bed Aqua Benedicta Oiled my head Not a father nor a mother Borders or beliefs Gadgets and schedules The biggest killer pills I’ll take up the glove And will say it to your face That no god can cage my love
3.
We Could 02:13
Don’t tell me to write you Love songs and then I will Others are talking about fire I like it better when it’s still So you could do that to me Failed chances made me swollen You won’t chip my heart But you could get it broken So we could do that to us Cause patience made us woven We could take these hearts And get them both broken I had picked you flowers And you didn’t play safe And then we just watched Our love’s silent pace So you could do that to me Failed chances made me swollen You won’t chip my heart But you could get it broken So we could do that to us Cause patience made us woven We could take these hearts So let’s not get them broken
4.
The old lady from the third block Has to push her own wheelchair And the guy that collects stubs Is lighting a Marlboro filter The new ones in the higher class All try to look away When someone asks them for an apple Or a stranger just wants to stay It’s natural, they’ve learned the lesson From the best masters in town They’ve been impaled by some pictures Of the hunchback of Notre Dame I’m standin’ with saltines in hand And don’t like them at all Swallowing a piece of crackers This race will surely fall The waxed haired jerk from high school Has to think how he will explain That the hits in the gym made him forget That girls like to be called by their names And the one who just lost her grit Will put on another disguise Fairly made-up for a battle she’d win She’ll have her tears out of sight When the next wham is given She’s crying as she takes the blame Pulls out a number from her back pocket That voice will say never feel any shame I’m standin’ with my hands just hangin’ And I’d rather stare at a wall Shakin for a hint of a cigarette This race will surely fall The guard in the new pub Is a threat so you don’t feel safe As you’re drinking your beer of freedom He puts a scare on your face And I see your old friends’ reunion Is going well for sure Well everyone knows it’s no secret Just keep on pushing your phone Caught the tram slightly drunk All the guys are searching for a club Everyone shouts: Carpe diem! A man nearby is getting robbed I was about to watch from above But it seems I’m not that tall And until that changes It’s me who has to fall
5.
Well all the things I have Just make me bow my back And all the things I seek Are getting over my head I don't talk to my friends There's something with my tongue And I’m getting sick of The fear of saying something wrong Yes I know you're well-read and you live by your wits but It’s sad you think it’s enough To pick me a word as a gift A question that wants to measure love Is proven to kill even without answer Can we really blame anyone At the moment I’m losing my temper? It was a blessing but now it’s a mess Nothing but crucial It’s the lack of lightness Beyond all these things That make me bow my back It's you rather than lightness I don't want to lack
6.
I’m above the limits Of each and every world But all these lines Seem to be so blurred I know that I should stand straight And that I’ll have to fight Dad, won’t you bring your boy back home tonight? Even a little man Can be great in a little one’s eyes This must be the place Where there’s no need for disguise Can I still ask you When there’s no one else on sight Dad, won’t you bring your boy back home tonight? I see the difference Between good and bad Well you know father Words of truth were said You’re dealing with the weight Of being my first and only knight Dad, won’t you bring your boy back home tonight? Some of my dreams You love them as if they were yours You wouldn’t be mistaken If you’d bet on their source Will you lend your hand When I’m afraid of heights? Dad, won’t you bring your boy back home tonight? A day will come when I’ll guard a little one’s night I’ll be the king with my queen And our prince on our side And then I will ask you If you wanted the last bite Dad, won’t you bring your boy back home tonight?
7.
Going left, heading right If you’re not really in you are better out I’m all the same Just like the things I see Someone’s struggling for fame Others just with their fee I collect beauty as you know I live in that small room at Ground floor Two There is light when I set it on And one thing I’ll tell you, Son Darkness goes nowhere When it’s lit by a screen And there’s no one talkin’ out there I’m getting bored of the scene So I think I’ll stay inside To see what I’ve gathered at Ground floor Two The ones you refer to as fathers Yesterday they were just sinners Well I miss my steps And there’s the loneliness Just moving right after left And I have no one to confess All this grievin’ me so I guess I should get out of Ground floor Two Surely God gave you the right To put someone in and someone out of sight And that’s just good For all of us Until we put food On the table at sunday lunch And on the other side there’s the same old tune they blow They’ll wish you goodnight at Ground floor Two Did you really tell your children If it’s God you love or is it believin’? It must be tough to think about The blame they did take When alone and out They didn’t act for your sake And it struck me as I got through The doorstep of Ground floor Two So I’m here and afraid Of things you left to do or to say It seems some might do They could even get through Without any kind of clue But I don’t believe you And it’s difficult though I’m leavin’ What’s in and around Ground floor Two
8.
Don’t think that Don’t think that I can’t shout I’m not your little brother So don’t tell me to go out You heard me crying And that makes you strong You think you have power here But I’m telling you you’re wrong Oh don’t think that I can’t shout The words you use Tell me that you’re smart But you’re not keen on proving That you have a loving heart You heard my silence And now I’ll walk you out But don’t ever think that Don’t think that I can’t shout
9.
Four Walls 03:28
I’ll find myself someone to love I’ll find myself someone to feed I’ll find home to drop my blood What else would I need? I’ll come close to show my face I’ll come close so you might listen I’ll show you around your place Look how your walls make a prison Four walls one needs Four walls are built on greed Four walls make a prison Four walls were given Then find yourself someone to love And find yourself someone to feed And know me by a drop of blood At your temple of greed And you dont need my blessing To say what you want to say But your words will teach you a lesson When you talk to walls someday Four walls one needs Four walls are built on greed Four walls make a prison Four walls were given Four walls where I live in
10.
Oh Brother 02:59
Oh brother the thoughts you Keep to yourself are all true And somehow the best things Are the ones you’re so afraid to do Oh brother Oh brother please take A girl who laughs at your jokes Who wants you to listen And who wants you to talk Oh brother Love your mother and father Like you always did And when they ask you Don’t forget that you’re their kid Oh brother Oh brother be nice And it’s better to know Frustration is not about others But all about you Oh brother Oh brother take my hand When you feel you have to And be sure I’ll take yours It’s the world against two Oh brother
11.
Unborn Child 02:35
You’re the reason I smile Even when I don’t mean it In all my greetings There you are You’re the reason I care Even when I’m not doing well In all my sorrow There you are But when I get tired Of being nice and kind And when I get hopeless It’s you changin’ my mind You’re the reason I speak Even when I’m weak In all my statements There you are You’re the reason I learn And teach them in return In all my questions There you are But when I get tired Of being nice and kind And when I get hopeless It’s you changin’ my mind Oh my unborn child
12.
How cruel is that I see you More often since you've gone? The given things felt hard for you Even being somebody's son But I don't blame you Or myself for that could have been done All that really matters Is we felt somehow as one I always thought that you'd Be someone causing himself hurt To some it might looked pathetic But I know you couldn't stand this world When I heard the news from father On how the things have turned I knew a part of me Goes with you down to the dirt I've seen you in a picture You stand beside your dog You painted yourself happy In your unintended epilogue I couldn't ever picture you In my head as an aging man You always had the last word But I bet this wasn't into the plan On the way to your home All I wanted was your smell And I felt myself so ugly Cause I questionned something that must be there A thing that stands but It's not something you spell Somehow I figured It's fine I know you care
13.
Draw My Line 03:59
Well you live where I do, you go places I go And still that’s all you say Those nice little words about summer curls And the weightlessness of your day I know those are nice but what is the price Of closing eyes every time Now look at me and see how I draw my line I know it is hard to show me your cards But isn’t it what you’re supposed to do? Instead of telling’ lies of unreached heights So I don’t know who I’m talking to It’s not what you earned but what you learned You still say six instead of nine When you look at me and see where I draw my line And I know sometimes there’s not just one way That’s all one can guarantee You say whatever but you’re not young forever Like you say you sure will be These days I’m sure they worth More than a cheap rhyme So look at me and see how I draw my line Life is sure good but you’re not in the mood To care about things that count But you’ll see my friend when you’ve come to an end Things are not really the way you sound You can throw laughs at me if I seem to be A man who’s not here to make you smile But look at me and see how I draw my line And I know sometimes there’s not just one way That’s all one can guarantee You say whatever but you’re not young forever Like you say you sure will be These days I’m sure they worth More than a cheap rhyme So now you’ve seen how I draw my line

credits

released April 7, 2017

music and words by Papaver Cousins

guest musicians
Andras Halmos - drums (track 2, 5, 9)
Andras Kalman - organ (track 1)
Andras Upor - slide guitar (track 10)
Daniel Misota - vocals (track 9)

produced by Papaver Cousins, Daniel Misota

sound engineering
Andras Upor, Daniel Misota, Andras Koroknay, Andras Kalman
mixing
Andras Koroknay, Andras Kalman
mastering
Andras Koroknay

photography, layout & design
Daniel Misota
photo on inside cover and disc
Tamas Konok Sr. (Fortepan)

Special thanks to Peter Podlovics, Adam Vadasz, Gergo Nagy, Mushu Israel, Petneházy Flóra, Painters Palace

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Papaver Cousins Budapest, Hungary

Papaver Cousins is a singer-songwriter duo of two brothers in arms, Oliver Szendrey-Nagy & Barnabas Nagy, exposing their desires, fears and perceptions in the manner of roots folk music.

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